Just Another Heartache On This List

"Awesomeness is not something you're granted. It's something you work for." Wonder who said that? Wonder who is the person that goes through life telling people just how wonderful and beautiful and important she is. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the most awesome person you will ever meet, KitKat Curtis. We didn't want her to have a low self-esteem for lack of a proper introuduction, now did we? Isn't that the reason for everything you say and do, Kit? I want to know, how many of you know that her heart is dying inside? You want to know the truth about KitKat Curtis? The truth behind her behaviour, attitude, and just plain stupidity? Very well then.

We caught Kit walking through the streets at night after a little party. She was slightly drunk, but then again, what's new about that? She wasn't really paying attention to anything going on around her. She seemed to have a lot on her mind. That gave this so much more pleasure that what I had intended. I walked towards her, tap her shoulder and cornered her. Her eyes widened for a second but she quickly covered it with her little heavy sense of humor. "Wait, let me guess. It is my turn now?" She laughed mockingly. So you thought this was just a game KitKat? I was flexible. You wanted a game, I would give you a game. I snapped my fingers. "Take her in, boys." I smiled evily as I watched the boys grab her and force her in. You greasers dissapoint me. You think that with a few kicks and punches you're able to get loose of such a grip. I rolled my eyes and got in the front seat. "Where the hell are we going?" She said but I didn't bother answer her. I just snapped my fingers and got Sam to cover her mouth with a tight grip. God, she annoys me. When we got to our destination, I had Sam hand me the keys and opened his parent's physicological facility. The boys knew already what to do and I enjoyed myself as they carried Curtis all the way in. Her expression caught my attention. She looked confused and I was pretty sure I knew why. Of all the places to take her, why to a psychiatrist? I closed the door behind me and walked over towards where sweet and lovely little Kitty was, chained to a chair and forced to look at me. "Well, hello there Miss Curtis. Glad to know you could make it today." I said. "You better untie me right now, Sheldon, or I-" I chuckled. "You will what? What can you possibly do to me? I got everything. You got nothing. No matter how much you physically injure me, I can always get back at you. Always. And besides, once I'm done with you there won't be much left for you to do. Now, why don't we start the session?" I said.

Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, tell me, why do you insist on playing the role on an untouchable goddess when you know just as well as I do that all you want to do is cry and fall upon your knees? Are you really that naïve? Let me tell you something, my dear greasers, just because KitKat Curtis makes you believe she has the world at her feet doesn't mean she's not feeling miserable. She's just really good at hiding it. KitKat, I know your secret, so why don't we share it with the rest of your little friends? Let's start with your family, shall we? You where the black sheep. You where never a perfect daughter. You always had to do something to go against what your parents said. Maybe not intentionally, but it was in your nature. You weren't the person they wanted you to be. Tell me, how many times did you dissapointed them? Because that's what you always will be through their eyes, a dissapointment. They always showed you that, even to the day they died. You where in pain because you knew that you where somehow responsible for their death. How so? Shall I repeat what you told your dear mother that day? Something along the words of 'I hate you'. I don't know about you Kitty, but those are really strong words. Your whole world came crushing down and it was such the hurt that you started living by reckless. Even to this day, almost two years later. It's such the desperate need for attention that your dear friend does stupid things so that people can pay attention to her. You want them to feel bad for you, don't you Kit? You want them to be on top of you, ask you how you feeling and overprotect you. But you're too worried about what they might think of you to tell them, so you cover it up with indirect statements and reckless behaviour. How nice. This egocentic attitude is just a cover. How pathetic is your life that you have to go to such lenghts to stand out? You like the fights and the arguments. You like being taken care of but everyone thinks you're so strong you don't need it. What a stupid pride.

I could see tears start to form in your eyes. "Stop it. You're lying." You said in a low voice. I smiled. "Why should I, Kit? If this was all a bunch of lies you wouldn't really care. You'd knew the truth and that would be all that would matter. Not what someone else thought." She looked down and I smiled. You make everyone think you're Dr. Phil or something. You pretty much go through your life telling people how to live theirs when you don't have the guts to follow your own advice. You want everyone else to feel better, not because you actually care but because you want someone to tell you. Hence, the lack of sufficient attention. You are not as insecure as your dear friend Angelica, she has real issues, you don't. But you feel more vulnerable than her. Kitty, you don't feel loved unless someone acknowledges you. Truth be told, that's so lame. How low can your self-esteem be? I turned around for a moment. All I could hear where silent sobs from behind me. Oh my. Was KitKat Curtis actually crying? I looked at you with interest and slight amazement. You where looking down, refusing to deal with any of it. You know, for a long time you made yourself believe that crying was lack of strength and well, you're right. You're a weak girl. The world might as well exist without you.

It didn't fool me. Those tears, the pain, you deserved it. I walked towards you and held your face, forcing you to look at me. "Tell me something, KitKat. Tell me what good thing have you done? What have you done that is worth remembering." I let go and turned around. "You can fool the world, you can fool yourself, but you can't fool me. Pretending to be something more than the white trash you really are. That's really smart, bitch." I fixed my knuckles. It was amusing to hear the girl break. Her cries where desperate, no longer trying to be held back. Weak. "Fuck you, Sheldon." She said. I turned slightly towards her. You really thought that would hurt me. Wow. You amaze me. I walked towards her and slapped her across the face. My face was expressionless. I really didn't care about her enough to deal with her abrupt behaviour. No more Mr. Nice Guy, and we where getting along so well. I picked up a mirror, held her face with my hand, and made her look. "Who's that girl? WHO'S THAT GIRL?" She tried to look away but I held her tight. Tell me KitKat, who is that girl that's staring straight back at you? Gaze at your own reflection for a moment. I'll tell you who she is. "She's a stupid foolish girl that thinks she can wear a mask and fool the world. Do you really think we're that stupid? You have such low levels of self-esteem that you manage to get your way by twisting other people's words and get compliments. You really need them. You need to make your presence known, give your opinion, feel needed to make yourself feel important. You keep things to yourself not because you don't want to share them but because you want to know who cares enough to get get them out of you. KitKat, you cut your hair, ran away, even fast yourself so that someone could dig it and save you from your own path to self-desctruction. Guess what? If they cared they would've already. Look at yourself. There's no one that is going to stop you from hurting yourself so do the rest of the world a favour and get it over with already." I placed the mirror down and walked to the door.

"What do we do with her?" Randy asked. I turned to gaze at the pathetic little creature sitting in front of me, crying her heart out. "Let her go. She's of no use to me or anybody."

-Bob Sheldon